Is there any chance of redemption?
Will the pain ever go away? A tale of duplicitous bonds 3
Can distance get it all destroyed in mere seconds?
For first-time readers please read the previous parts of this story for better context, it will help you to understand this one better.
For better context, I will use past and present as subheadings to signify changing and swapping timelines to and fro throughout the plot. Use the first letter for conversations and before the change in the timeline I will use the dot divider as well. Just like the one down here..
The night was too long, Amar was like a curve ball on the bed, he was visibly disturbed for some reason. He picks himself up and then he goes to the kitchen gets some water on his usual glass and drinks it. He sees a gun nearby, Amar took the gun in his hand looked it around, and kept it. He goes back to his room, wraps himself up again, straightens the folded bed sheet, and turned on his rotating night lights as the green dots glimmer in the dark, he looks at them with his eyes wet.
Past
As Amar and Shahid hold each other hands underneath the Chinar tree. Amar was stroking Shahid’s hand gently. Shahid turned around and was looking at Amar. Amar looking straight into the sky. Shahid leans closer to Amar their breaths were flowing upwards towards the neck, their heart was fluttering. Amar gazed his eyes towards Shahid, Shahid’s heartbeat could be felt as if his entire body was jerking, charged as a suction. Suddenly Mehjabin’s voice came by. Shahid touched Amar’s face and then turned to the other side and went by the Chinar’s broad roots and slouched and looked at her. There was the voice ‘Shahid’ coming from the other side. Mehjabin was shouting ‘Shahid’s name from the top of her lungs. He went towards Amar and hugged him tightly and ran away. Amar’s face swelled and felt down. He was visibly sad, but he put on a smile and watched him go.
The next day Shahid went to catch his bus, and he waited. Suddenly his classmate Rizwan comes running with his father with a cylinder in their bicycle. In many nations cylinder is an empty vessel where you pump in liquified petroleum to keep your gas burner stove alight. Shahid flustered and confused, asks, Rizwan “Hey what happened buddy”. As Rizwan passes through him, his father is scared to death.
R: Don’t you know?
S: What?
R: It's starting again.
S: From a very long distance, Mehjabin came running to call Shahid. As soon as she was about to cross the road and meet Shahid on the side. The planes flew in swathes and dropped a bomb on the nearby bakery shop. And it burst just near her. Shahid shouts, “Aai”. He wants to go to the other side. Rizwan’s dad holds him strong. As Shahid shouts. And a van comes along, The driver opens the door, and just in seconds, another bomb drops just 100 meters away. Rizwan’s father hurries and Shahid becomes unconscious until then. He puts Shahil inside, sits at the front, and tells Rizwan to sit at the back. And 5 minutes later another bomb drops feet away. Ismail pivots the car and just nearby he enters his van in a narrow lane. He sees gunfire scuffle between the combined US and European Military armies attacking a few men. While the men retaliate. There were Helicopters dropping armed army men.. And, they were shooting everyone at their sight. Rizwan in frustration beats his head and cries, and chants, “Allahumma aminna fi awtanina, wa adim ni’matal-amni wal-istiqrari fi biladina bi rahmatika ya arhamar-rahimeen” while placing his hands and palms together and raising ot upward and continues chanting.
The armed men were killing everyone regardless of women, kids, or people running. Ismail was driving, Rizwan sees one of his friends running and Rizwan yells, “Ismail stop!” “Ismail” please stop, let “Ali” get in. “Ismail please, I beg of you, please.” Ismail turns the car and takes it out of those scuttled narrow zig zaw lanes. Rizwan in his sad-looking face, and his father looks back. Almost 10–20 helicopters hovered around, at the same spot. They gheraoed the lanes, the same lane Rizwan made it through. They bombed the entire place and turned it into rubble.
Rizwan’s father sees from another lane, an army vehicle with few armed men coming towards the van. These were armed forces who were following them. They fasten the pace, Rizwan’s father told Ismail. “Ismail I do not think we can outdrive them. They are very fast.” Rizwan starts yelling, “Ismail NO. NO! NO!” Ismail in tears stops the car as the armymen vehicle was approaching. Rizwan’s father got out of the moving car and fell on the grass, he picked himself up then bend down and lifted his head while prostrating in the grass. Rizwan crawled his head up and from one hand Ismail dragged him and pulled the shades up. Rizwan fights with Ismail, scratching his face, and bangs on the shade. The four NATO army men come out as Ismail was about to take turns. They shot Rizwan’s father. As the van turned, Ismail takes them all near the Iraq-Syrian border Al-Waleed crossing. And then enters a shelter filled with men and women. He went inside while the kids were asleep. Suddenly, Shahid woke up, He was unaware of the place he was in. But he gets out of the car and runs to the other side.
Present
Amar looks at the ceiling, on the other room Shahid packs his bag reloads his gun, and packs it in. Gets his body roll on, and uses it. And washes his hair. And, goes to Amar’s room. Amar looks at Shahid, and asks, “Is it time to go?”
S: “I suppose so, yes. Okay!”
A: “Okay then do you want me to drop you.”
S: “It's okay I will go by myself?”
A: “Nope that’s not happening?”
S: “You cannot go there, other members might be there.”
A: “Let them be, I will not let you go alone, you are hurting.”
Amar holds Shahid’s hand while Shahid wants to get out of the grip. Shahid starts with a low tone, “Please leave me, Amar”. But then he shouts, “Amar please leave me..” He moves back turns, and holds Amar tightly. He keeps his eyes closed. Amar too does that. Shahid pushes his lips against Amar’s. Amar in a heated embrace holds him close to him. Shahid starts undressing while Amar takes a moment to come to their senses and says! You are not well I just got bullets out from you. Shahid pushes him to the bed but hit his belly while landing on his frontal body on the bed. He twitched himself and hold his belly while biting his teeth to stop the pain. And his eyes went moist because of it. Amar undresses himself and holds him close.
A: Why you are so impatient?
S: I don’t know is that a bad thing?
A: Let me take care of this.
Shahid holds the vase and moves forward, Amar holds him from the back, and kisses his back as well while Shahid turns and reciprocates that kiss …
Past
Shahid is hungry, he somehow with people’s directional help reached Amar’s home. It was hard for him as the war was about to end. The forces were about to leave and as they were exiting to fill the void, ISIL was stepping inside the border. The transition was still going on. He somehow found Amar’s door, he knocked at the door. Someone opened it, and asks, “Who are you?” Shahid replies “Is Amar here?”
His father was packing bags, “His mother calls, “Amar someone is calling you?” Amar’s mother asks, “Do you want to go upstairs he is in there packing?” She wastes no time and packs again. And, amidst as he was walking away, a white man reaches the door and tells Amar’s parents the forces will depart tomorrow at midnight 3 o clock. We will leave 2 personnel here. Shahid did not like that person, he could remember his, mother being hit by one of those bombs, though he was unconscious he was sure the white man was responsible.
He moves to Amar’s room. Amar says, “Shahid, How are you?” He goes and hugs him. Shahid does not say anything. Amar asks, “Are you okay?” Shahid in silence, “just numb and was not reacting.” He holds Amar’s hand and throws it around.
S: I saw a white man in your house. Who was he?
A: Oh see Shahid, please do not mind but my father has to leave Iraq. The ISIL is entering here again and the American and NATO forces are departing.
S: Who exactly is your father?
A: Oh he is a govt official.
S: So, he is “mulhid”, supporting the ‘Shias”..
A: What? “I am a Shia”.
S: So you are not even a proper Muslim, because of you Aai is not here.
A: What? What happened to your mother?
S: She is dead, she was bombed by the white men.
A: Its not possible they protect us not kill our people.
S: Is that what they say to you?
A: Yes, my dad has served the President and helped the ousting of Saddam Hussain. The traitor of Iraq.
S: All I can say is your lot is traitor.
A: Shahid, will you come with me to the US. Its far better than here.
Shahid stops moving, Amar turns around and his father comes out with a gun. Amar, yells, “Abbu what are you doing?” Abbu says, “Get that pest out of my house or I will shoot him. Amar covers Shahid, “Abbu are you mad? He is my friend Shahid.” Abbu replies, “He is with the terrorists, we need to leave right now.” He yells Amar's mother’s name. Shahid pushes Amar out and then punches Amar’s dad on his belly. And he runs away while Amar runs after him. He follows Shahid, He cries “Shahid! Shahid! Shahid!” “Please listen to me.” Shahid stops. Amar tells him, “Why don’t you come with us”
S: Your dad wants to kill me? What the hell are you on about?
A: He won’t, Abbu always listens to me.
S: I won’t with a traitor, now leave me alone you ‘Mulhid.’
He runs away and Amar’s eyes was filled with tears.
Present
Amar and Shahid sit around, it's been 6 months since his stitches are open. They were holding each other’s hands. Shahid looks at him, “Is there any redemption left for me?” he asks. Amar pulls his hand from the other side and holds him by his palm, “Even if you do a gazillion faults, I can still forgive you.” “What about him?” asks Shahid. “Try me, ask?” says Amar. Shahid looks to the other side, “I have to go.” Amar says rudely, “GO AWAY NOW. AND NEVER COME BACK.” Shahid grabs him by his back and hugs him and asks, “It's hard being me, Amar”. “It's hard!” “But I have never forgotten you.” “Neither when Ibrahim was born.” “I was not even part of this and they destroyed my family.” “I know, but do two wrongs make something right.” “Its time to forgive.” “Enough bloodshed suffered by everyone already.” “We literally have no one left. Abbu died, Ammi died. Your abbu, ammi died!” And you did your due after finding your mother in the homeless shelter. I still remember when you texted me on Facebook, you looked so happy! Aamir too was in there. “It's time to forget.”
A: Remember the letter you gave me about the Chinar tree when we met again in college? I have it. It's time to leave all and start afresh.
S: I am down this rabid hole and I do not know what to do.
A: Am I not enough for you?
S: You are. You really are. But!
Amar kisses Shahid passionately. And they both undress themselves and get into bed. While Shahid holds Amar in a tight embrace. He moves on top of him while holding him by his side.
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